Feed The Children Lyrics - Fistfight At The Wafflehouse - Brian Haner

If I had just one wish, I'd feed the starving children, 

with something bland at first like rice, so they can hold it down 

Soon they'd develop a tolerance 

for western culture 

and they'd be demanding happy meals with gender appropriate toys 

But if you give a man a fish, he eats for just one day, 

but if you teach that man to fish, he eats for a lifetime 

But fishing is just a metaphor; there are many ways to find food: 

Like farming, and hunting, that's it! 

Hunting... 

Arm the children, 

Give them guns 

Believe me; they'll eat one way or another 

In Africa they could shoot gazelles 

In Chicago they could rob a 7/11 for a microwave burrito, 

and let's be honest, stolen burrito just tastes better 

than the kind you buy with cash; those are for suckers... 

(guitar solo) 

If I had a second wish I'd take all the animals off the endangered species list 

so we could eat them 

I know it sounds insane, but hear me out: 

A chicken's not endangered and neither is a cow, 

coincidence? Perhaps 

But I don't think so 

If a 'whopper' was made with whale meat, we'd be growing them for food 

If we change the way we order at our favourite restaurants 

"I'll have a manatee supreme and a Hooters hot spotted-owl wings" 

Arm the children, eat the whales 

It's the only way mankind will survive 

Would you rather feel like the French and live on snails? 

I don't mean to be dramatic but I'll rather gauge my eyes out with a spoon 

I have a third wish; Nuke the French, 

With their hairy backs and five-o-clock shadow and those are just the women 

They never bathe or wash their filthy hair 

Let's arm those hungry, pissed off kids and send them there 

la la la la 

Arm the children, eat the whales and nuke the French 

Everybody sing 

La la la la 

Oh yeah 

Arm the children, eat the whales and nuke the French 

(Help us treat the little babies?) 

la la la la 

Oh you, oh you've got to 

Arm the children, eat the whales and nuke the French 

Kill the French, 

Kill the French, 

Kill the French 

la la la la 

They've been begging for it 

Arm the children, eat the whales and nuke the French 

Nuke the French 

The French 

Nuke the French 

French