The Proper Gander Lyrics - Bobby Darin

There was a white mouse consultation 

Down at the county fair 

All the church mice, field mice and not 

so nice mice 

Everybody gathered there 

You see the muckidy muck he was 

speakin', tellin' them where it was at 

He said hear, hear there ain't nothin' to fear 

Except a three eyed Siamese cat 

And the crowd was stunned 

See, no single mouse had ever seen one 

He said don't be scared 

We're prepared. 

Then he held up a great big picture 

So every mouse could see 

What a three eyed Siamese cat looked like 

The face of the enemy 

And the crowd let out such a shudder 

As they lined up file and rank 

Starin' at a twenty foot picture frame 

Surroundin' a twenty foot blank 

Just empty space 

But every single mouse 

Swore he saw a face 

He said don't be scared 

We're prepared 

Then the muckidy much started screamin' 

Yellin' till his voice gave out 

He said now that you've seen what the 

cat looks like 

Gonna tell you what he's all about 

He said he don't eat cheese on Friday 

And he goes around lickin' his paws 

He's awful mean and he loves to keep clean 

And believes in changin' laws 

And the crowd went wild 

And every mouse began to fear for his child 

Don't scared 

We're prepared. 

Now two times two is forty-five 

The muckidy muck explained 

And the flat side of the moon is green 

And the farmer don't need no rain 

And the night is light and might is right 

And Supermouse is on our side 

And the three eyed Siamese cat's a plague 

From which nobody can hide 

And the mice all cringed 

The whiskers of that cat would soon 

be singed 

Don't be scared 

We're prepared. 

Then the muckidy muck started singin' 

Through his great paternal grin 

And the church mice, field mice 

All the patriotic mice 

Everybody chimed right in 

They sang this land is mice land 

Mice country tis of thee 

Well my father took it from the beaver rat 

Nobody's gonna take it from me 

And the mice all cheered 

The sound that they were makin' sure 

was weird 

Dont' be scared 

We're prepared. 

Then the muckidy muck said line up here 

Everybody give a buck 

To fight the three eyed Siamese cat 

takes money 

And a little bit of luck 

We've got a million of our best young mice 

To go out and volunteer 

To give up what they're livin' for 

To make the cat disappear 

Let's give 'em a hand 

Yay 

We don't want that cat invadin' our land 

No way 

We're not scared 

We're prepared. 

Then a mighty strange thing happened 

Guess you could call it fate 

You see, a gust of wind blew the picture 

frame down 

And it landed on the muckidy muck's head 

And the mice they all went crazy 

For the first time they saw the lie 

It was all a hoax on just simple folks 

And the muckidy muck must die 

And die he did 

The members of his staff they just fled 

They were scared 

Hah 

Just not prepared.