Classifieds Lyrics - Singles - Bob Mould

Look through the classifieds, maybe I'll find a friend who cares 

Decent and true but my interests are few 

And how would I reply? Start with, I've never done this before 

And all the chains that bind you 

You might find they're just threads that float around 

It's fun to fantasize through someone else's eyes 

Every week I read the advertisements from start to end 

Stable, mature but a little unsure 

What am I looking for? Number 340's in here again 

And like the characters portrayed in a play 

No one ever stops to read 

I have to say that this all seems strange to me 

It's not that different from my life 

Condense it down into five lines 

Now I know the reason why these ads all look alike 

How can anyone describe who they are in a page or less? 

But desperately looking for someone I guess 

But when the morning comes 

Both of you will be scratching your heads 

In the aftermath 

Head to the bathroom to straighten up and then 

You realize you forgot your toothbrush again 

And what you saw in those five lines 

Did it materialize? 

Now you know the reason why 

That one's in there every time 

Look through the classifieds 

Who's in the classifieds? 

I'm through with the classifieds