Bo Fo' Sho' Lyrics - Bo Burnham

Walkin my poodles, man it never gets old 

With my dogs on my leash I got bitches on the hold, 

A first aids kit? Thats a rhesus monkey, 

I bust more nuts than a pistachio junkie! 

Get more ass than a giant donkey stable, 

Got more lines than whitney houston's coffee table, 

I get more head than grammar school lice, 

I'm like a walkin glacier I'm so decked out with ice. 

Did you poop a virgin? Cause that shit is tight. 

Jack ain't black, and Barry ain't white. 

I do drugs in the bedroom, lie on ur back, 

Cause I got the pipe and you got the crack. 

Though i'm sexually straight, your bound to find, 

I'm mentally gay, cause I'll blow your mind. 

The parents be snickerin "Te shouldnt have written it" 

But I'm constipated, couldnt give a shit. 

chorus: 

My name is Bo fo sho, 

A born bostonian, 

Aryan librarian at the WORDsmithsonian 

The rap is scattered, it hides its ingenuity, 

I gave it this little part to give it continuity. 

The fellas say 

Hey moron pass the gin 

Cause I'm an OXYmoron breathing OXYgen 

Give me the bottle, I'll chug two thirds 

Cause you bitches know fractions speak louder than words 

And the ladies say 

Hey fellas i'm keepin it tight and if You play ur cards right you can have me tonight 

Should i blow you or beat you, brass or percussion? 

Oh stop, PERIOD end of discussion 

chorus: 

My name is Bo fo sho, 

A born bostonian, 

Aryan librarian at the WORDsmithsonian 

The rap is scattered, it hides its ingenuity, 

I gave it this little part to give it continuity. 

Walking through the garden with food at y feet, 

Picked up the celery but dropped the beat (beet). 

And then I pick it up again. 

We're in the hood ill take what you give me 

Was einstein's theory good...relatively 

A smart queen's kingdumb, it doesnt mix 

A litter of literates, a bunch of moby dicks 

"get thee to a punnery" o-just to-pheelia 

Take you with a condomn "stainless-steal" ya. 

Half a pound of turkey breast, half a pound of chicken tits, 

Why are only crackers staying at the Ritz? 

Poverty, racism, isn't it strange, 

That only the homeless are beggin for change? 

I shocked Sherlock 

What, son? (watson) (watt, son?) 

Rosa Parks didnt call "shotgun"! 

Here's a bit of irony 

A Ford Focus driver has ADD 

How'd I come to master all these things? 

Like a tampon theif, i had to pull some strings.