Goalhanger Lyrics - Billy Bragg

He's got the bonhomie 

Of a game show host 

And his handshake is so limp it's like meeting a ghost 

His apologies are tired 'cause he uses them a lot 

His excuses are so lame if they were horses they'd be shot 

He lies through his teeth with impeccable grammar 

In the game of life he's just a dreadful goalhanger 

He's keeping all his options open 

'Til the very last minute 

Checking every situation 

Tryin' to work out what's in it 

Tryin' to pin him down's like nailing water to a wall 

He's incapable of making a commitment at all 

Like trying to knock in a nail with an inflatable hammer 

In the game of life he's just a dreadful goalhanger 

Yesterday upon the stair 

I met a man who's never there 

He won't be there again today 

Well that's what he told me to say 

He's got the natural arrogance 

Of an exclamation mark 

And he wishes that his bite was as big as his bark 

He's appealing to the referee at every single stage 

He's a buzzy little bundle of impotent rage 

Where he ought to have patience he only has anger 

In the game of life he's just a dreadful goalhanger 

He has a lack of humility 

That defies imagination 

And he hangs 'round like a farting Russian space station 

He doesn't even notice as he sells you down the river 

'Cause he's one of life's taker and he's looking for a giver 

Shrugs, drops his shoulders as he drops another clanger 

In the game of life he's just a dreadful goalhanger