Army Lyrics - The Unauthorized Biography Of Reinhold Messner - Ben Folds

Well i thought about the army 

Dad said, son you're fucking high 

And i thought, yeah there's a first for everything 

So i took my old man's advice 

Three sad semesters 

It was only 15 grand spent in bed 

I thought about the army 

I dropped out and joined a band instead 

Grew a moustache and a mullet 

Got a job at chick-fil-a 

Citing artistic differences 

The band broke up in may 

And in june reformed without me 

And they'd got a different name 

I nuked another grandma's apple pie 

And hung my head in shame 

Been thinking a lot today 

Been thinking a lot today 

Oh, i think i'll write a screenplay 

Oh, i think i'll take it to la 

Oh, i think i'll get it done yesterday 

In this time of introspection 

On the eve of my election 

I say to my reflection 

God please spare me more rejection 

'cause my peers they criticize me 

And my ex-wives all despise me 

Try to put it all behind me 

But my redneck past is nipping at my heels 

I've been thinking a lot today 

I've been thinking a lot today 

I've been thinking a lot today 

I thought about the army...