Uncle Walter Lyrics - Ben Folds Five - Ben Folds Five

Come on 

Your uncle Walter's goin' on and on 

'Bout everything he's seen and done 

The voice of fifty years experience 

He's drunk watchin' the television 

You know he's been around the world, last night 

He flew to Baghdad in his magical armchair 

With cigarettes and a six pack, yeah, he just got back 

The spits flyin' everywhere, hey, hey, hey, hey 

Your uncle Walter's goin' on and on 

(Oh, you're back so late) 

Where did you go that you were gone so long? 

So, how could you leave me here so long with uncle Walter? 

Your uncle Walter saw who fired the shots 

He drove his chair in the cavalcade 

He's flown from South Africa to countries where 

They beat themselves on the backs with chains 

There was a fleet of battleships and one reclinin' chair 

Headed north on the Arabian sea, now he's back 

To tell us what he and his oldest boy Blair 

They're gettin' rich with a mail order scheme, oh, oh 

Your uncle Walter saw who fired the shots 

(We're so glad you're home) 

Where did you go that you were gone so long? 

How could you leave me here so long with uncle Walter? 

Your uncle Walter told me 

Everythin' he'd do if he was president 

Now, what a perfect world this world would be 

If he was president now but he's not 

And he sees the children smokin' pot 

He knows that in a moment they'll be 

Shootin' up heroin, teardrops in his armchair 

A fifty minute lecture, tobacco juice rollin' down his chin 

Your uncle Walter's goin' on and on 

(Oh, you're back so late) 

Where did you go that you were gone so long? 

So how could you leave me here so long with uncle Walter? 

Come on