Army Lyrics - The Unauthorized Biography Of Reinhold Messner - Ben Folds Five

Well I thought about the army 

Dad said, "Son you're fuckin' high" 

And I thought, yeah there's a first for everything 

So I took my old man's advice 

Three sad semesters 

It was only 15 grand spent in bed 

I thought about the army 

I dropped out and joined a band instead 

Grew a mustache and a mullet 

Got a job at Chick-Fil-A 

Citing artistic differences 

The band broke up in May 

And in June reformed without me 

And they'd got a different name 

I nuked another grandma's apple pie 

And hung my head in shame, oh 

I've been thinkin' a lot today 

I've been thinkin' a lot today 

Oh, I think I'll write a screenplay 

Oh, I think I'll take it to L A 

Oh, I think I'll get it done yesterday, ah, shit 

In this time of introspection 

On the eve of my election 

I say to my reflection 

God please spare me more rejection 

'Cause my peers they criticize me 

And my ex-wives all despise me 

Try to put it all behind me 

But my redneck past is nipping at my heels 

I've been thinking a lot today 

I've been thinking a lot today 

I've been thinking a lot today 

I thought about the army