Smooth Grandmama Lyrics - Apologetix

As he came up to the window, heard the sound of, Barry Manilow 

He came into her apartment, smelled the Ben Gay, and the chocolate 

She was sitting at the table, he could see she, had a Bible 

Then she ran into the bedroom, got her teeth down, and her perfume 

Granny, are you OK, you OK, you OK, Granny? (4X) 

Granny's not an old maid, She's a zealot, with a bold faith 

She's a kind-hearted widow, and she bought you, a Nintendo, last week 

You came into her apartment, left the mud stains, on the carpet 

And then she ran into the bedroom, she was knelt down, it was for you 

Granny likes to crochet, and croquet, and quote Dear Abby 

Granny causes road rage, in slow lanes, she's no Andretti 

Granny's got the whole day, to go pray, for all her family 

You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth grandmamma 

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she came into the hallway, it was Sunday, had a snack made 

Then the book of Revelation, was the topic, of conversation 

Granny says you know babe, the Lord say, in verse 3: 20 

He's standing at the doorway, so don't waste, a moment honey 

And you gotta go pray, or else babe, you won't gain entry 

Then you told her OK, I want saved, I'll go pray Granny 

Granny told you OK, first you tell Him, that you're sorry 

Believe He died or your sins though 

And accept, Him and repento -- Whammy! 

He came into your heart then, you were prostrate, on the carpet 

Then she ran you to the next room 

You were sat down, there was more food 

Granny karaokes, to old tapes, of Sandi Patty 

You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth grandmama 

(BRIDGE) 

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Granny had a roast made, and potatoes, that were homemade 

And she buys Poppin' Fresh Dough 

So she baked you, some crescent rolls, lets eat! 

You came into her apartment, and the blessings, only started 

And then your Granny took and fed you 

You were stuffed now; it was her food 

Granny brought you cold grapes, and poached eggs, and bowls of candy 

Granny brought you milkshakes, and fruitcake, keep Rolaids handy 

Granny's artichokes make, your throat gag, so don't take any 

And before you go babe, you must take, a roast beef sandwich