Hotel Can't Afford Ya Lyrics - Apologetix

From a dark desert highway we pulled into the inn 

Rome called for a census, I was from Bethlehem 

Up above from a distance a star was giving me light 

My wife was heavy 'cause her child was due 

We had to stop for the night 

So I stood in the doorway of Bethlehem hotel 

And I was thinking to myself "I hope to heaven they'll give me some help" 

But they told us no-can-do and they sent me away 

"There's a place around the corner though where you both can stay" 

Welcome, but the hotel can't afford ya 

Such a lovely place but we're out of space 

Ran out of room and the hotel can't afford ya 

It's the time of year with the census here 

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My wife was definitely gifted, that's what the Lord's angel said 

She was about to have a baby boy while still virgin 

Spent the night in the barnyard, cheap slumlord's rent 

Some night to remember, some night to forget 

So because of what happened I was grieving for my wife 

I said "They probably haven't cleaned in here since B.C. 65" 

Animal voices were calling for straw and hay 

Keeping you up through the middle of the night just as if to say... 

Welcome, but the hotel can't afford ya 

Such a lovely place, but we're out of space 

Holiday rush and the hotel can't afford ya 

What a nice surprise for your silent night 

He was born that evening and shepherds came that night 

And they said "We're all just visitors here of the Holy Christ" 

And in an ass's manger, they found the boy asleep 

They started getting teary eyed so they went back to their sheep 

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Last thing I remember there were wise men at the door 

They had a bunch of packages from the place they were before 

"We're late," said the wise men "We had problems Christmas Eve 

We've been checking out your shiny light all through the Middle East"