The Humours Of Whiskey Lyrics - Andy M. Stewart

Let your quacks and newspapers be cutting their capers 

About curing the vapors the scratch and the gout 

With their medical potions, their serums and their lotions 

Upholding their notions, they're mighty put out. 

Who can tell the true physic to all that's pathetic 

And pitch to the divil, cramp, colic and spleen 

You'll know it I think if you take a big drink 

With your mouth to the brink of a jug of poteen 

So stick to the cratur' the best thing in nature 

For sinking your sorrows and raising your joys 

Oh what botheration, no dose in the nation 

Can give consolation like poteen me boys. 

No liquid cosmetic to lovers athletic 

Or bodies pathetic can give such a bloom 

As the sweet by the powers in the garden of flowers 

Ever gave their own bowers such a darling perfume 

And this liquid so rare if you willingly share 

To be taking your hair when it's frizzled and dead 

Oh the sod has the merit to yield the true spirit 

So strong it will shake all the hairs from your head 

Then stick to the cratur' the best thing in nature 

For sinking your sorrows and raising your joys 

Oh since its perfection, no doctor's direction 

Can cleanse the complexion like poteen me boys 

While a child in me cradle, me nurse with her ladle 

Was filling my mouth with a notion of pap 

When a drop from her bottle fell into my throttle 

I stumbled and capered clean out of her lap 

On the floor I lay crawlin' and screaming and bawling 

'Til me mother and father were called to the fore 

All sobbing and sighing they feared I was dying 

But soon found I only was crying for more. 

So stick to the cratur' the best thing in nature 

For sinking your sorrows and raising your joys 

Oh lord how they'd chuckle if babes in their truckle 

They only could suckle on poteen me boys 

Through my youthful aggression, through times of depression 

My childhood's impression still clung to my mind 

And at school or at college the basis of knowledge 

I never could gulp 'til with whiskey combined 

And as older I'm growing times ever bestowin' 

On Erin's potation, a flavor so fine 

And how ere they may lecture on jove and his nectar 

Itself is the only true liquid divine 

So stick to the cratur' the best thing in nature 

For sinking your sorrows and raising your joys 

Oh lord, 'tis the right thing for courting and fighting 

There's nowt so exciting as poteen me boys. 

Come guess me this riddle, what beats pipes and fiddle 

What's hotter than mustard and milder than cream 

What best wets your whistle, what's clearer than crystal 

What's sweeter than honey and stronger than steam 

What'll make the lame walk, what will make the dumb talk, 

The elixir of life and philospher's stone 

And what helped Mr. Brunnell to build the Thames Tunnel 

Wasn't it poteen from ould Inisowen 

So stick to the cratur' the best thing in nature 

For sinking your sorrows and raising your joys 

Oh lord, it's no wonder, if lightning and thunder 

Weren't made from the plunder of poteen me boys. 

You maidens pathetic, with lovers athletic 

For liquid cosmetic, you can't beat the drop 

With a glow to your cheek, it will make your heart leap 

It'll quiet a stallion or cure an old cob 

At the mouth you would drool, be reduced to a fool 

You'd kick up your heels and you'd peel to the buff 

Then 'tis he'd be pathetic while you'd be athletic 

If only you'd take a few drops of the stuff 

So stick to the cratur' the best thing in nature 

For sinking your sorrows and raising your joys 

For there's nothing like whiskey to make maidens frisky 

It soon separates all the men from the boys.