Growltiger's Last Stand Lyrics - Andrew Lloyd Webber

In the fantasy sequence "Growltiger's Last Stand," Gus relives 

one such triumph, playing the pirate Growltiger. In this sequence, 

Growltiger, a feared feline sea captain and his amour, Griddlebone, 

meet an untimely end after battling a crew of Siamese sailors. 

CHORUS: 

Growltiger was a bravo cat who travelled on a barge 

In fact he was the roughest cat that ever roamed at large 

From Gravesend up to Oxford he pursued his evil aims 

Rejoicing in his title of the "Terror of the Thames" 

His manners and appearance did not calculate to please 

His coat was torn and seedy, it was baggy at the knees 

One ear was somewhat missing, no need to tell you why 

And he scowled upon a hostile world from one forbidding eye 

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The cottagers of Rotherhithe knew something of his fame 

At Hammersmith and Putney, people shuddered at his name 

They would fortify the hen house, lock up the silly goose 

When the rumor ran along the shore: Growltiger's on the loose! 

Woe to the weak canary that fluttered from its cage 

Woe to the pampered Pekinese, that faced Growltiger's rage 

Woe the bristly bandicoot that lurks on foreign ships 

And woe to any cat with whom Growltiger came to grips 

But most to cats of foreign race his hatred had been vowed 

To cats of foreign name and race, no quarter was allowed 

The Persian and the Siamese regarded him with fear 

Because it was a Siamese had mauled his missing ear 

Now on a peaceful summer night all nature seemed at play 

The tender moon was shining bright, the barge at Molsey lay 

All in the balmy moonlight it lay rocking on the tide 

And Growltiger was disposed to show his sentimental side 

In the forepeak of the vessel, Growltiger stood alone 

Concentrating his attention on the lady Griddlebone 

And his raffish crew were sleeping in their barrels and their bunks 

As the Siamese came creeping in their sampans and their junks 

Growltiger had no eye or ear for aught but Griddlebone 

And the lady seemed enraptured by my manly baritone 

Disposed to relaxation and awaiting no surprise 

But the moonlight shone reflected from a thousand bright blue eyes 

And closer still and closer the sampans circled 'round 

And yet from all the enemy there was not heard a sound 

The foe was armed with toasting forks and cruel carving knives 

And the lovers sang their last duet in danger of their lives 

Oh, how well I remember the old Bull and Bush 

Where we used to go down of a Sattaday night, 

Where, when anything happened, it came with a rush, 

For the boss, Mr. Clark, he was very polite; 

A very nice house, from basement to garret 

A very nice house. Ah, but it was the parrot, 

The parrot, the parrot named Billy M'Caw, 

That brought all those folk to the bar. 

Ah! He was the life of the bar. 

Of a Sattaday night, we was all feeling bright, 

And Lily LaRose, the barmaid that was, 

She'd say "Billy! Billy M'Caw! Come give us, 

Come give us a dance on the bar." 

And Billy would dance on the bar, and Billy would dance on the bar. 

And then we'd feel balmy, in each eye a tear, 

And emotion would make us all order more beer. 

Lily, she was a girl what had brains in her head; 

She wouldn't have nothick, no not that much said. 

If it came to an argument, or a dispute, 

She'd settle it offhand with the toe of her boot 

Or as likely as not put her fist through your eye. 

But when we was happy and just a bit dry, 

Or when we was thirsty, and just a bit sad, 

She would rap on the bar with that corkscrew she had 

And say "Billy! Billy M'Caw! 

Come give us a tune on your pastoral flute!" 

And Billy'd strike up on his pastoral flute, 

And Billy'd strike up on his pastoral flute. 

And then we'd feel balmy, in each eye a tear, 

And emotion would make us all order more beer. 

"Billy! Billy M'Caw! 

Come give us a tune on your moley guitar!" 

Billy'd strike up on his moley guitar, 

And Billy'd strike up on his moley guitar. 

And then we'd feel balmy, in each eye a tear, 

And emotion would make us all order more beer. 

"Billy! Billy M'Caw! 

Come give us a tune on your moley guitar!" 

Ah! He was the life of the bar. 

CHORUS: 

Then Genghis gave the signal to his fierce Mongolian hordes 

Abandoning their sampans, the chinks they swarmed aboard 

Abandoning their sampans, their pullaways, their junks 

They battened down the hatches on the crew within their bunks 

Then Griddlebone she gave a screech for she was badly skeered 

I am sorry to admit it, but she quickly disappeared 

She probably escaped with ease I'm sure she was not drowned 

But a serried ring of flashing steel Growltiger did surround 

The ruthless foe pressed forward in stubborn rank on rank 

Growltiger to his vast surprise was forced to walk the plank 

He who a hundred victims had driven to that drop 

At the end of all his crimes was forced to go kerflip, kerflop 

Oh there was joy in Wapping when the news flew through the land 

At Maidenhead and Henley there was dancing on the Strand 

Rats were roasted whole in Brentford and Victoria Dock 

And a day of celebration was commanded in Bangkok! 

GUS: 

These modern productions are all very well 

But there's nothing to equal from what I hear tell 

That moment of mystery when I made history