In Our Haunted House Lyrics - Halloween Howls - Andrew Gold

Mwahahahahaha! Welcome, boys... Come right in. 

(screaming) 

Please come in, you're welcome here 

Mind the cobwebs and the bones 

May we invite you to spend the night? 

Make yourself at home 

Step this way, here's the living room 

(Though "dead" room is more correct) 

'Cause there hasn't been a living soul here 

Since grandpa broke his neck 

In our haunted house 

We'll treat you like one of us 

But in our haunted house 

That could be hazardous 

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Browse around the kitchen, 

Have a spoon or a knife (?) 

You must excuse those "ketchup" stains... 

We ate someone last night 

Here is your big bedroom, dears 

(You'll love the creaky bed!) 

You'll sleep just fine, but when you wake 

You still may feel half dead 

In our haunted house 

The mother is a ghost 

The upstairs maid's been buried for years 

And the chauffeur's comatose! 

In our haunted house 

Our hospitality is something of which we're very proud 

(Oh! Do you take poison in your tea?) 

Photos 

Don't let the spider webs mess up your hair 

Don't mind the piano playing with no one there 

The crumbling bookshelves covered with dust 

One or two headless bodies, what's all the fuss? 

The dreadful pounding, the screams and moans 

It's just a typical night at home... 

(In our haunted house! Things come through the walls! 

You might see sights that chill the soul! Be sure to wear a shawl!) 

(We'd love you! Do come in! Stay a while and play...) 

(Once you finally settle in, you'll never go away!) 

(We'll make sure of that...) 

(evil laughter) 

In our haunted house 

(screams) 

In our haunted house 

In our haunted house... 

In our haunted house... 

In our haunted house... 

Our haunted house... 

In our haunted house... 

(fades out)