This Grudge Lyrics - So Called Chaos - Alanis Morissette

Fourteen years 

Thirty minutes 

Fifteen seconds I've 

Held this grudge 

Eleven songs 

Four full journals 

Thoughts of punishment 

I've expended 

Not in contact 

Not a letter 

Such communication 

Telepathic 

You've been vilified 

Used as fodder 

You deserve a piece 

Of every record 

But who's it hurting now? 

Who's the one that's stuck? 

Who's it torturing now 

With an antique knot in her stomach? 

[Chorus] 

I want to be big and let go 

Of this grudge that's grown old 

All this time I've not known 

How to rest this bygone 

I want to be soft and resolved 

Clean of slate and released 

I want to forgive for the both of us 

Like an abandoned house 

Dusty covered 

Furniture 

Still intact 

If I visit it now 

Will I simply re-live it 

Somehow gratuitous 

But who's still aching now? 

Who's tired of her own voice? 

Who is it weighing down 

With no gift from time of said healing 

[Chorus] 

Maybe as I cut the cord 

Veils will lift from my eyes 

Maybe as I lay this to rest 

Dead weight off my shoulders will rise 

Here I sit 

Much determined 

Ever ill-equipped 

To draw this curtain 

How this has entertained 

Validated 

And has served me well 

Ever the victim 

But who's done whining now? 

Who's ready to put down 

This load I've carried longer than I had cared to remember 

[Chorus]