Gaston Lyrics - Alan Menken

Who does she think she is? 

That girl has tangled with the wrong man! 

Darn right! 

No one says, "No" to Gaston! 

Dismissed! Rejected! Publically humiliated! 

It's more than I can bear 

More beer? 

What for? Nothing helps, I'm disgraced 

Who you? Never! 

Gaston, you've got to pull yourself together 

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Gosh, it disturbs me to see you Gaston 

Looking so down in the dumps 

Every guy here'd like to be you, Gaston 

Even when taking your lumps 

There's no man in town as admired as you 

You're everyone's favorite guy 

Everyone's awed and inspired by you 

And it's not very hard to see why 

No one's slick as Gaston 

No one's quick as Gaston 

No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Gaston's 

For there's no man in town half as manly 

Perfect, a pure paragon! 

You can ask any Tom, Dick, or Stanley 

And they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on 

No one's been like Gaston 

A kingpin like Gaston 

No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Gaston 

As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating! 

My, what a guy, that Gaston! 

Give five, "Hurrahs!" 

Give twelve, "Hip hips!" 

Gaston is the best and the rest is all drips 

No one fights like Gaston 

Douses lights like Gaston 

In a wrestling match nobody bites like Gaston 

For there's no one as burly and brawny 

As you see I've got biceps to spare 

Not a bit of him scraggly or scrawny 

That's right! 

And every last inch of me's covered with hair 

No one hits like Gaston 

Matches wits like Gaston 

In a spitting match nobody spits like Gaston 

I'm especially good at expectorating! 

Ten points for Gaston! 

When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs 

Every morning to help me get large 

And now that I'm grown I eat five dozen eggs 

So I'm roughly the size of a barge! 

My, what a guy, that Gaston! 

Hold 

Girls, girls, girls, please 

There's plenty for all 

Oh yeah 

[Incomprehensible] 

No one shoots like Gaston 

Makes those beauts like Gaston 

Then goes tromping around wearing boots like Gaston 

I use antlers in all of my decorating! 

My, what a guy, Gaston!