The Talkin' Song Repair Blues Lyrics - Alan Jackson

(Written by Dennis Linde) 

The mechanic raised up from under my hood 

He shook his head and said, "This ain't good 

Your timin' belt's done, shrunk one size too small 

Those spark plug wires are a little too long 

And your main prodsponder's nearly gone 

Your injector ports are stripped and that ain't all." 

"The torque converter's runnin' low on torque 

And that water pump's nearly down a quart 

But we caught it all in time so you're in luck" 

He said, "I've got the time and I've got the parts 

Just give me the word and I'm ready to start 

I think we can bring her in for eight hundred bucks." 

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But don't be downhearted, I can fix it for you, sonny 

It won't take too long, it'll just take money 

Then he said, "Ain't you that songwriter guy?" 

I said, "Yes, I am," he said, "So am I." 

And he sat down and played me a song by the grease rack 

When he finished singin' he gave me a smile 

And I closed my eyes and pondered awhile 

And he said, "What do you think? Now don't hold nothin' back." 

Well, I gave him my most sorrowful look 

And I said, "This song's got a broken hook 

I can order you a new one from Nashville but it won't be cheap 

And I know you've been using a cut-rate thesaurus 

'Cause your adverbs have backed up into your chorus 

Now your verse is runnin' on verbs that are way too weak." 

But don't be downhearted, I can fix it for you, sonny 

It won't take too long, it'll just take money 

And I said, "Hold on friend now I'm not through 

I hate to be the one to give you the news. 

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But your whole melodic structure's worked itself loose 

It's got so many dotted eighth notes in it 

I'd keep her under fifty beats per minute 

I mean, that's just me talkin', it's really up to you." 

And you've got a bad safety problem with 

That dominant chord with the augmented fifth 

Just see how dangerously high it raises you up 

So just go on over there and work on my car 

I'll sit here by the fan and chances are 

I can straighten this thing out for eig... nine hundred bucks." 

But don't be downhearted, I can fix it for you, sonny 

It won't take too long 

You guessed it 

It may be a hit 

I like it...