Crazy Rap Lyrics - The Good Times - Afroman

Wait a minute, man, hey, check this out, tell it 

It was this blind man, right? 

Man, check this out it was this blind man, right? 

He was feelin' his way down the street with this stick, right? 

Hey, he walked past this fish market, you know what I'm sayin'? 

He stopped, he took a deep breath, he said 

Woo, good morning ladies, you like that shit, man? 

Hey, man, I got a gang of that shit, man, I tell you what 

My man on the guitar, fool on the drums 

Everybody just crowd around the mic 

I'll tell you all these mutha-fuckin' jokes 

But first, I'ma start it off like this 

Hey, help me sing it, homeboy 

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby, that's all we need 

We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed 

And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns 

Singing them dirty rap songs stop and hit the bong 

Like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong 

So roll, roll, roll my joint, pick out the seeds and stems 

Feelin' high as hell flyin' through Palm Dale, skatin' on Dayton rims 

So roll, roll the '83 Cadillac Coup de Ville 

If my tapes and my CD's just don't sell, I bet my caddy will 

Well, it was just sundown in a small white town 

They call it East Side Palm Dale 

When the Afroman walked through the white land 

Houses went up for sale 

Well, I was standin' on the corner sellin' rap CD's 

When I met a little girl named Jan 

I let her ride in my Caddy 'cause I didn't know 

Her daddy was the leader of the Klu Klux Klan 

We fucked on the bed, fucked on the flo' 

Fucked so long, I grew a fuckin' afro 

Then I fucked to the left, fucked to the right 

She sucked my dick till the shit turned white 

I thought to myself, Sheba, Sheba 

Got my ass lookin' like a zebra 

I pulled on my clothes and I was on my way 

Until her daddy pulled up in a Chevrolet 

I ran, I jumped out the back window 

But her daddy, he was waitin' with a 2 x 4 

Oh, he beat me to the left, he beat me to the right 

The mutha-fucker whooped my ass all night 

But I ain't mad at her prejudiced dad 

That's the best damn pussy I ever had 

I got a bag of weed and a bottle of wine 

I'm a fuck that bitch just one more time 

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need 

We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed 

And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns 

Singing them dirty rap songs stop and hit the bong 

Like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong 

So roll, roll, roll my joint, pick out the seeds and stems 

Feelin' high as hell flyin' through Palm Dale, skatin' on Dayton rims 

So roll, roll the '83 Cadillac Coup De Ville 

If my tapes and my CD's just don't sell, I bet my caddy will 

I met this lady in Hollywood, she had green hair 

But damn she looked good 

I took her to my house, 'cause she was fine 

But she whipped out a dick that was bigger than mine 

I met this lady from Japan, never made love with an African 

I fucked her once, I fucked her twice 

I ate that pussy like shrimp fried rice 

Don't be amazed at the stories I tell ya 

I met a woman in the heart of Australia 

Had a big butt and big titties, too 

So I hopped in her ass like a kangaroo 

See, I met this lady from Hawaii 

Stuck it in her ass, and she said, Aie 

Lips was breakfast, pussy was lunch 

Then her titties busted open with Hawaiian Punch 

Met Colonel Sander's wife in the state of Kentucky 

She said, I'll fry some chicken if you just fuck me 

I came in her mouth it was a crisis 

I gave her my secret blend of herbs and spices 

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need 

We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed 

And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns 

Singing them dirty rap songs stop and hit the bong 

Like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong 

Hey, wait a minute man, check this out 

I met Dolly Parton in Tennessee 

Her titties were filled with Hennessey 

That country music nearly drove me crazy 

But I rode that ass and said, Yes, Miss Daisy 

Met this lady in Oklahoma put that pussy in a coma 

Met this lady in Michigan, I can't wait till I fuck that bitch again 

Met a real black girl in South Carolina 

Fucked her till she turned into a white albino 

Fucked this hooker in Iowa, I fucked her on credit, so I owe her 

Fucked this girl, down in Georgia, came in her mouth 

Man, I thought I told ya 

Met this beautiful sexy ho 

She just ran 'cross the border of Mexico 

Fine young thing, said her name's Maria 

I wrapped her up just like a Hot Tortilla 

I wanna get married, but I can't afford it 

I know I'ma cry when she gets deported 

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need 

We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed 

And as the marijuana burns we can take our turns 

Singing them dirty rap songs stop and hit the bong 

Like Cheech and Chong, sell tapes from here to Hong Kong 

Have you ever went over to a girl's house to fuck 

But the pussy just ain't no good? 

(Say what?) 

And then you're getting' upset 'cause you can't get her wet 

Plus you in the wrong neighborhood? 

So you try to play it off and eat the pussy 

But it takes her so long to come 

(Say what?) 

Then a dude walks in, that's her big boyfriend 

And he asks you where you from? 

(Where you from, man?) 

So you wipe your mouth, and you try to explain 

(I don't bang) 

You start talkin' real fast 

But he's already mad, 'cause you fuckin' his wife 

So he starts beatin' on your ass 

Now your clothes all muddy, your nose all bloody 

Your dick was hard but now it's soft 

(What?) 

You thought you had a girl to rock your world 

Now you still gotta go jack off 

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need 

We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed 

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need 

We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed 

Colt 45 and two Zig Zags, baby that's all we need 

We can go to the park after dark, smoke that tumbleweed 

...