Funkmaster Flex (freestyle) Lyrics - Action Bronson

[Verse 1: Action Bronson] 

You spent your advance on one trip to Six Flags 

With a handicapped class with your candy rap ass 

Bitch you singing like Frankie Lymon 

Fuck around, you might break your hymen 

Then somebody's gonna have to clean the mess up 

Like you fuckin spilled ketchup 

Fuckin flawless from the neck up 

If you want it better step up 

You dont wanna feel that brrat-tat-tat-tat 

Come through the fuckin ball court with Salt N' Pepa 

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[Verse 2] 

If I die change my suit four times at the wake 

Make sure I get my dick sucked also 

Everybody wearing white clothes 

Crush cocaine, put it up your right nose 

You might see me lookin homeless 

Hoppin out the rover, parrot on my shoulder 

Just say what up, I might acknowledge you 

My shit is crazy, don't appear to be a common dude 

I only deal with people that invent shit 

Cause after rap there ain't no pension 

And I'm trying to be the next George Foreman 

Inventing new grills so Jadakiss could cook the base on it 

I might take a shit in some expensive jeans 

I got expensive habits 

My kids are mixed like Lenny Kravitz 

It's not me rappin it's the parrot 

And if I punch you in the face 

You'll never eat a mother fuckin sandwich 

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[Verse 3] 

These dudes wanna claim king, youre dealing with the mortals 

Fuck being cordial I'm laughin while i'm dancin in the ball room 

Former king's head lay in the guillotine 

Snap my fingers chop that mother fucker 

Put a village to siege 

Ain't no man walking iller than me 

If you see me you better kneel on the knee 

I'm like a one in a million case 

Brilliant face, crooked J tryna put me in the cage 

Turn the page, bitch I'm paid 

I been around the world more than carmen sandiego 

Raw meat thrown to lions under the table 

Grown men breakin bread while your face bled 

Found face down in the shed like a base head 

Switch plates on a civic, pivot 

Exotic places that they rap aboout Ii live it 

Fat boy, I'm eatin all the spinach 

Hold up a second baby I ain't even finished (nah) 

Dropped 50k on my mans bail 

Two hours later he was as tan as a potato 

From a foreign land that once was occupied by NATO 

Every line is nasal 

We deal with more numbers than times tables 

Bodies get found in the ground by neighbors 

I'm in the bathroom reading the paper laid up 

Sharp blade cut, need a top girly girlies like it 

The ones that go two ways - it's just my blue phase 

Shit 

[Outro Freestyle] 

Im in the bathroom reading the paper laid up 

Butt naked in the lamborghini 

These mother fuckers can't see me 

The Magic Johnson of the game these lames don't want to play with me